But that’s not me.

“But you did a great job”I have been constantly told my entire life.  I have been fortunately enough to have an amazing family that supports me with everything and anything I do.  My school grades have been above average. My athletic abilities beat the norms. My body doesn’t gain weight. I am so incredibly lucky.

But why don’t I see that.  I never feel good enough.  Not once has my dad said I have disappointed him, yet everyday I feel like I could be doing more. My grades are high, but anything less than an A gives me anxiety. I was recruited by multiple teams  in high school, but yet I didn’t try out for the soccer team in college. I am normal for my height, but yet I still consider myself chubby and find myself skipping meals.

But you would never know.  My mom has her own life to care about.  I have straight A’s, I can’t complain.  I can run 4 miles without stopping. I can go a whole day without eating and not show any signs of fatigue.

But who cares. I can pretend to be happy with my parent’s divorce.  I can pretend to live with the stress classes put on my back. I can pretend to forget about the adrenaline felt in a game. I can pretend to walk across campus confident in my body.

But that’s not me.

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