Thanks for Nothing

This past week has been anything but normal.

It is holiday time, we got the week off of classes.  Most people went home. I didn’t.  I had an amazing time, but it really hit me that the world is constantly moving, even when you would do anything for it to just stop for a few seconds so you can take a breath.  Reality really sept in when I hardly talked to either of my parents.

Thanksgiving last year I was surrounded by my mom, my dad, my two sets of grandparents, uncles, aunts, and cousins.  I remember getting irritated with all the questions about school, relationships, life, but now I would do anything to go back.

I only received one text from my mom.  She was only three hours away but I didn’t get to see her.  My sister and I didn’t even know her plans till the day before she left with him. I support her, whatever makes her happy.  I just don’t like the distance that has been created.

My dad texted me all day.  He wouldn’t tell me who he was eating dinner with.  This mystery lady keeps popping up, but he acts like I don’t realize.  He makes the conversations so awkward, he is still keeping secrets from me.  After the six months they didn’t tell me about the divorce, I thought that would be the end of lying.

Both my parents aren’t talking to their parents.  I am not even sure they are talking to each other.  My whole family was close, but now they are splitting in every direction with me sitting in the middle.

Stability is all I want for christmas really, but with my family, my friends, and my boyfriend all deciding to leave my life: I don’t think stability is coming any time soon.  Christmas is suppose to be times filled with joy and happiness, but I am going to be too worried about who I am going to spend more time with.

They say the first year is the hardest.


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