Your light still shines;

Four years ago, I told you to suck it up and take some Advil for your headache.  We had practice and we needed to be ready for our first game.  I needed you to play, coach couldn’t know you were in pain.  You listened, but it didn’t get better.  A few days later, as I climbed on the bus looking for you, I knew something was wrong.  You wouldn’t be late to our first game.  Soccer meant so much to you, I never met someone with so much passion and dedication.  When Coach announced the news, so many emotions rushed through my body.  I immediately blamed myself.  If you went to the doctors sooner, maybe they would have had more control.  But I told you to suck it up.  I let four goals in before I pulled myself out of the game with tears covering my face.

Four years of strength and suffering.  With cancer there is no escape from the treatment, the pain, the reality that life ends.  You never showed that side of cancer. You never let it get a hold of your spirit.  Your smile remained pure and filled with hope.  You weren’t suppose to make it to the end of the season, but four seasons later your smile still lit as you joined a college team.  You won homecoming queen.  You danced at prom.  You walked across the stage and earned your diploma. You proved all the statistics and diagnosis’s wrong.  You achieved more than most in just four years. Cancer did not define you, you defined courage.

Four years later I am wordless and numb. But I promise I won’t let you down! You are my superhero. No cape or magic powers… Your smile and courage was all you needed. You have and will continue to bring light when I see only darkness. I don’t know what happens after our “life” here, but I know whatever or wherever it is: it’s more beautiful after it gained you. You gave me hope, and now I know it’s real. Hold On Pain Ends. Rest in Peace Beautiful Girl.


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